A hero fallen

So I started this crazy diet crap as a stupid bet. I bet my other half...who is considerably fatter than me that we both needed to lose 10% of our body fat. So here I sit needing to loose 15 pounds by the end of Feb. Of course he is a boy and stop eating for 10 minutes and loses 10 lbs. God hates females..I'm convinced.
So I started at 151....now I am 147. I have to get to 136 by Feb 28...D Day. I have been living on sassy water...which is only called that because Sassy...is the sound the sloshing of the water makes in your bladder as you haul your fat ass to the can to pee AGAIN.
If you put your ear on my stomach you can hear the ocean. Its TRUE

So I started the day off as a champ. I went to the gym to meet my trainer for 7;30. All excited I got everything ready last night. I worked my ass off. I was begging for an oxygen tank...a wheelchair. ANYTHING. It was hard. After the warm up I was almost crying. When the hour session was over I was in the shower in the gym, and I could barely lift my arm to reach the shampoo. My arm was shaking!!! Putting my mascara on I moved my head up and down in a nodding motion near my mascara brush hoping it would hit an eyelash...cause not fucking way was my arm moving.

Somewhat clean and with a wee bit of make up on I went to the office. I ate a high fibre granola bar. Sawdust, and cardboard wrapped in faux honey...mmmmmm Glad I am doing this. More Sassy water. pee....pee...pee

Lunch I walked to Tims with a co-worker and had the chili. According to my weight loss pal my fear and grief for eating chili was unfounded and I am good.

More water...more sassy water.

Then I had a meeting after work. Realizing there was no coffee shop to meet in we went to a martini bar. I ordered bubbly water...then I had to hear how fucking perfect his life was. Oh Waiter can I have a vodka martini straight up with a twist...gawd knows I don't need the olive calories. "Oh your wife is skinny, super pretty, an architect, only been here for 3 months and has a full time job supporting you while you create your art? Waiter? ANOTHER STAT"

So yes, after 5 and a quater days of sobriety I fell. I fell hard. My ass is bruised. But as a proud Drunkerexic I did nto eat...so no extra calories.

I have failed. I am a loser. But damn that martini rocked!

Pray for me for tomorrow