Master Cleanse - Day One

Everyone knows of my love for food. There is very, very little I do not like. Much of it I love. Italian, Indian, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese... toast, cereal, meat, eggs. vegetables.. salad.. sandwiches, pizza... this list could go on forever. I'm not even sure I can name a favourite food I love them all so much. And booze. I love booze as well.


So you can imagine how drunk I must have been to agree to do the Master Cleanse.


The daugther wanted to do the cleanse in order to jump-start the weight loss and remove the body of toxins, blah blah blah.. So I agreed to do it. woohoo. Obviously, either the alcohol or past brain injuries have kicked it.

So this morning I got up early.. and drank a litre of evil evil stuff.. One litre of lukewarm water with a tablespoon of sea salt.. I chugged it. It was hideous. This is supposed to "bathe" your colon.. cleanse it if you will.. From what I had read online, it usually takes about an hour to kick in.. so I chugged it, and waited.

In the meantime I made the other stuff that I'm supposed to be drinking all day... the lemonade part .. 60 oz of water, 12 tbsp of FRESH Lemon juice, 12 tbsp of pure Maple syrup and cayenne pepper (hint, put the pepper in right before you are going to drink it.. a "pinch" per glass)

I made some for me and some for the daughter.. and then starting getting ready for my day, hoping the salt water would kick in sooner rather than later. Drank the lemonade stuff.. It was all right.. FINALLY the salt water kicked in.. no biggie.. just had to go to the washroom

Spent the day drinking, drinking, drinking. Herbal tea, the lemonade, water with flavour packets in it... anything to fill the gut. For lunch, I couldn't help it.. I had to eat some lettuce. I think it's psychological because I often go for long periods without food.

All day I kind of looked.. tired. Dark circles under my eyes (I pretty much always have those) and just felt sleepy. Part of the reason I agreed to this was that some people have noticed an increase in energy and less dark circles. OK, it's only day one. I'll give it a chance.

By the time evening rolled around I was starving. My stomach was eating itself, after all, I had already expelled all the liquids I had ingested.. I felt kind of yuck.. super hungry... sleepy.. yawning... and all I could think about was barbequed meat and pasta. Mind you.. during this stage of the game, my colon was no longer my friend. Apparently the salt water had a "delay" of sorts and finally REALLY kicked in... which I will describe only as extreme intestinal warfare.

Then, something good happened. The daughter caved and ate some Special K.. Soo... I had a bowl of Special K... some cooked broccoli and tons of water.. I was actually feeling kind of dehydrated.. from the warfare I guess. But not super hungry.

Until the daughter caved even further and made a cheese pizza. If she can, I can.. I had 2 small slices, adding about 250 calories onto my day... so overall.. not too ugly.

I think I'm going to have to go with a modified cleansing.. I'll do MOST of it.. but I need to eat something or my brain won't function correctly...